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Tips on How to Smoke Weed: A Starter’s Guide

January 1, 2023 By The Perfect Joint

When first smoking, feel free to giggle your ass off and gorge on Oreos. But please, if you continue, learn some dignity.

The decidedly uphill battle to legalize marijuana, medical or otherwise, is likely to be with us for decades to come. Legislating morality in our country (and in human societies down through the ages) has always been fraught. As we have seen, even if marijuana is legal in some localities, that doesn’t mean the feds won’t shut down licensed operations, as I discovered woefully when the owners of my own dear collective in Malibu, California, were forced to pack up and flee after receiving a threatening letter from Obama’s U.S. Attorney General’s office. (Has anyone looked into the reason for our seemingly liberal president’s hard line on pot? Do you think it has something to do with being a father of teenage daughters who attend a pricey prep school in Washington, D.C.? Everybody knows how hardy those rich preppies like to party.)

Meanwhile, glassy eyes around the nation are turned toward Colorado’s legalization experiment. Given the choice between a drunk (and impaired) asshole and a pleasant stoner… Well, put it this way: If my college-bound kid was to ask my advice on the subject, I’d tell him I prefer he smoked weed in lieu of drinking. Watch one episode of Real World. That’s what our kids are emulating, people. (Of course I’d also tell him to watch his butt — people still get busted for simple marijuana possession every day in America.)

There’s not a lot to know to get you started, and I am not here advocating the use of illegal substances. But if you happen to be interested…

1. Indica vs. Sativa

Learn the difference. Indica makes you sleepy; it’s more of a body high, good for pain, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping — you’ll likely nod out a couple hours after smoking. Sativa is a more upbeat, artistic, and cerebral high. It sparks the imagination and energizes you directly after smoking and will keep you awake if you smoke too close to bedtime. Most stoners remember the difference in a somewhat anti-intuitive way. Sativa starts with an S = NOT sleepy.

2. Just Say No to Blunts

The hip-hop generation has popularized the use of tobacco leaf rolling papers or hollowed-out/re-rolled Swisher Sweets as the delivery device of choice for weed. Not only can this lead to an addiction to nicotine (every heroin user I’ve ever known agrees that nicotine is the hardest drug to kick). It also kills the taste of the myriad delicious strains now on the market. Nobody would ever mix a shot of red wine in a glass with ice and Coke, would they?

3. Know Your Equipment

Some people swear by vaporizers, which eliminate the intense skunky smell (good for dorm rooms and public spots) and the inhalation of smoke (possibly but not medically proven to adversely affect the lungs). However, the vape high is considerably less intense and shorter lasting. While a bong can be unruly and downright disgusting, a small water pipe can fulfill the same purpose, filtering the more noxious elements of combustion. For cleaning, isopropyl alcohol cuts resin nicely. Remember the container full of combs soaking in blue liquid on the barber’s counter? I do the same with my glass pipes.

4. Giggling Man is an Oxymoron

The first time you smoke, feel free to giggle your ass off, munch down on Double Stuf Oreos and barbecue potato chips, and marvel at the new found intensity of movies, music, sex, et al. The primary effect of weed is to enhance the sensory enjoyment of everything around you. But please, if you continue to smoke, learn some dignity. Conquer the munchies and the giggles. Concentrate instead on these newly opened doors of perception.

5. Expectations

If pot makes you feel paranoid, it’s because it affords the user a slightly different view of him or herself. When you’re high, your words echo discreetly in your own coconut, your point of view is slightly off center from normal, affording you a kind of fleeting glimpse of yourself and your actions that you might not ordinarily have. Weed invites self-observation, which is not for everyone. Even though it should be.

Filed Under: Tips & Tricks Weed Smoking Tagged With: beginners guide, do not cough, indica, munchies, sativa, smoke m, smoke weed, weed smoke, weed smoking good, weed smoking tips, weed tips

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How to name your weed also!

A-bomb ace Assassin of Youth bammy banano bazooka blow a stick Budda Buddha cheroot chillums chips colas ditchweed fire up funk funny stuff ganja get on ghanja giggle weed good stuff grefa grifa gunga gungeon gunja gunney gunney sack hit hookah hubbly bubbly Indian hemp Indiana ditchweed Indiana hay Johnson grass kif lamb's bread light up limbo loco Lucas lumber moocah muggles munchies paca lolo peace weed Phillies Blunt picked up pin pinhead poke potlikker pot liquor P.R. shlook shotgun skin snop spring steamboat sticks super grass super weed taking on a number tea head tighten someone's wig Tijuana TJ toak toke pipes toke up vipe viper Wacky terbacky Zombie weed Acapulco gold Acapulco red Ace African black African bush African woodbine Airhead Airplane Alice B. Toklas Amp joint Angola Ashes Atom bomb Atshitshi Aunt Mary B B-40 Baby Baby bhang Bad seed Bale Bambalacha Bar Bash Basuco Belyando spruce Bhang Bite one's lips Black Black bart Black ganga Black gold Black gungi Black gunion Black mo/black moat Bla k mote Blanket Blast Blast a joint Blast a roach Blast a stick Block Blonde Blow Blow a stick Blow one's roof Blowing smoke Blue de hue Blue sage Blue sky blond Blunt Bo-bo Bobo bush Bogart a joint Bohd Bomb Bomber Bone Bong Boo Boom Boot the gong Brick Broccoli Brown Bud Buda Bullyon Burn one Burnie Bush Butter Butter flower Cam trip Cambodian red/Cam red Can Canadian black Canamo Canappa Cancelled stick Cannabis tea
Carmabis Cartucho Catnip Cavite all star Charas Charge Chase Cheeba Cheeo Chiba chiba Chicago black Chicago green Chira Christmas tree Chronic Churus Citrol Climb Cochornis Cocktail Cocoa puff Coli Coliflor tostao Colorado cocktail Columbian Columbus black Cosa Crack back Crazy weed Cripple Crying weed Cubes Culican Dagga Dawamesk Dew Diambista Dimba Ding Dinkie dow Dirt grass Ditch Ditch weed Djamba Do a joint Domestic Don jem Dona Juana Dona Juanita Doobie/dubbe/duby Dope Dope smoke Doradilla Draf weed Drag weed Dry high Durog Duros Dust Dusting Earth El diablito El diablo Endo Esra Fallbrook edhair Fatty Feed bag Fiend Fine stuff Finger Fir Fire it up Flower Flower tops Fly Mexican airlines Fraho/frajo Frios Fry daddy Fu Fuel Fuma D'Angola Gage/gauge Gange Gangster Ganja Gash Gasper Gasper stick Gauge butt Geek Get a gage up Get high Get the wind Ghana Giggle smoke Gimmie Go loco Gold Gold star Golden leaf Gong Good butt Good giggles Goof butt Grass Grass brownies Grata Green Green goddess Greeter Greta Griefo Griff Griffa Griffo Gungun Gyve Hanhich Happy cigarette Has Hawaiin Hay Hay butt Hemp Herb Herb and Al Herba Hit Hit the hay Hocus Homegrown Honey blunts Hooch Hooter Hot stick Indian boy Indian hay Indo Indonesian bud J Jane Jay smoke Jay Jim Jones Jive Jive stick Joint Jolly green Joy smoke Joy stick Ju-ju Juan Valdez Juanita Juice joint Kali Kaya Kentucky blue KGB (killer green bud) Kick stick Kiff Killer Killer weed (1980s) Killer weed (1960s) Kilter Kind Kumba L.L. Lace Lakbay diva Laughing grass Laughing weed Leaf Lid Light stuff Lima Little smoke Llesca Loaf Lobo Locoweed Log Love boat Love weed Lovelies Lubage M M.J. M.O. M.U. Machinery
Macon Magic smoke Manhattan silver Mari Mary Mary and Johnny Mary Ann Mary Jane Mary Jonas Mary Warner Mary Weaver Matchbox Maui wauie Meg Megg Meggie Messorole Mexican brown Mexican red Mighty mezz Modams Mohasky Monte Mooca/moocah Mooster Moota/mutah Mooters Mootie Mootos Mor a grifa Mota/moto Mother Mow the grass Muggie Mutha Nail Number O.J. P.R. (Panama Red) Pack Pack of rocks Pakalolo Pakistani black Panama cut Panama gold Panama red Panatella Paper blunts Parsley Pat Pin Pipe Pocket rocket Pod Poke Pot Potten bush Prescription Pretendica Pretendo Primo Puff the dragon Queen Ann's lace Ragweed Railroad weed Rainy day woman Rangood Rasta weed Red cross Red dirt Reefer Righteous bush Roach Roach clip Rockets Root Rope Rose marie Salt and pepper Santa Marta Sasfras Scissors Seeds Sen Sess Sezz Shake Siddi Sinse Sinsemilla Skunk Smoke Smoke Canada Snop Spark it up Speed boat Spliff Splim Square mackerel Squirrel Stack Stems Stick Stink weed Straw Sugar weed Supergrass Sweet Lucy T Taima Takkouri Tea Tea party Tex-mex Texas pot Texas tea Thai sticks Thirteen Thumb Tin Toke Toke up Torch Torch up Torpedo Turbo Twist Twistum Up against the stem Viper's weed Wac Wacky weed Weed Weed tea Wheat White-haired lady Wollie Woolah Woolas Woolies Wooly blunts X Yeh Yellow submarine Yen pop Yerba Yerba mala Yesca Yesco Zacatecas purple Zambi Zig Zag man Zol Zooie Zoom parker burrito Marley 4:20 four twenty fry wack wet-wet amp water-water wetdaddy drank illy wet ill crazy eddie purple rain clickem milk primos fry sweet candy blunt snowcaps (special thanks to http://parentingteens.about.com for the entire list. LOL!!)

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